


outside me

by euborne



Series: my youth is yours (the stories we never really tell) [1]
Category: GOT7
Genre: M/M, at all, its actually fluff, look ... . mentions of gore and death BUT LIKE they are not real, nobody dies at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 19:45:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7003837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/euborne/pseuds/euborne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Youngjae dreams of distances that Jaebum walks across even from the other side of the world.</p><p>Or alternatively, fancy language aside: Youngjae has nightmares and Jaebum reassures him everything is fine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	outside me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [6woojin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/6woojin/gifts).



> a Mess™ ; for phi because I promised I'd write something for you before you have the chance to

He dreams of falling, a dark abyss underneath his feet that crumbles at the edges until he plunges into nothingness. It swallows him whole, throat torn out from what must be screaming but the sound of it is lost to his own ears. He only hears the air as it swishes by him. Youngjae doesn't know if his eyes are closed or open because the same darkness welcomes him always, inevitably, as if chasing him and maybe it is but he can't escape it even if he's aware of its steps behind him. His limbs are flailing, hair tousled by the wind, and everything is spinning, spinning, spinning, like a dice, rolling, and his stomach is flipping over like the insides of a washing machine.

 

He sees himself land, strangely enough, looking out from eyes that aren't his, he brings up hands that aren't his to his mouth when he sees shoulders dislocated, arms at an odd angle, the impact of the fall catching up to everything, forcing the air out of his body. The spine that can't possibly be intact. The head limply turns to him, eyes empty and dull, and Youngjae sees a face that isn't his. Jaws that come off, blood trickling down the side of his mouth. Suddenly the body that had fell is Jaebum's and Youngjae closes his eyes and hears no heartbeat. He tries to whisper Jaebum’s name but his throat closes over open air.

 

He wakes up in his bed, sheets tangled into his legs, skin so warm it burns, chest heaving breaths that his rib cage cannot hold out, heart thundering so loud that it mutes out his thoughts, almost, but not completely. They all boil down to one single word.

 

Jaebum, Jaebum, Jaebum, _Jaebu_ \--.

 

His fingers are clammy, hands shaking so violently that he accidentally pushes his phone off the nightstand the first time and it gets him a few tries to unlock it, the password he knows so well suddenly an impossible feat. He feels sick to the stomach, poison seeping through his cells as if colored black from inside. Fear engulfs him whole, irrationally. Jaebum's number on his screen seems to taunt him and Youngjae feels like a joke, paranoid and scared of something created by the darkest corners of his mind. Later on, he's sure, he'll write it off as the haze of sleep untying his tongue, dictating his moves, making him do things he wouldn't usually do. Later on, this is something he'd never admit to, he'd claim anything Jaebum says is a lie. He dials the number anyway and puts the phone to his ear, his pulse seeming to pick up pace.

 

Youngjae counts the seven dials in which Jaebum doesn't pick his phone. An eight doesn't follow.

 

"Youngjae?" Jaebum's voice is gravelly and raw, thick with sleep and Youngjae imagines him rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand. Youngjae wants to cry, his lip trembling, relief overcoming every single one of his senses.

 

Jaebum is okay, he's _safe_.

 

"Youngjae. You can't wake me up at--" A pause. "--half past three in the fucking morning and give me radio silence when I try to talk to you."

 

"Yes. Yes, I--, I'm here." His voice still shakes, breaths coming out short, his heart only now beginning to slow down.

 

Jaebum must have noticed.

 

"Hey. Hey, Jae." It's been a while since Youngjae has heard Jaebum sound like that, voice low and soothing, yet so scratchy, like broken glass. "Is something the matter? What's wrong?"

 

Youngjae throws off his blankets but it brings him no relief. He's still shaking. God, he wishes Jaebum wasn't so many miles away. He wishes he could wrap himself around Jaebum like a second skin until their edges start blurring, until they don't know who's who.

 

"A nightmare." The room is hot, the air humid and everything feels sticky. He wants to open a window but he doesn't trust his legs. "I'm-- I was scared. For you. Because in my dream you-- you died."

 

His words seem to have lodged themselves into his windpipes because he finds it hard to breathe. There's nothing but silence on the other side of the line and he's scared once again.

 

"Jae. Listen. You hear my voice, right?" Youngjae nods, forgetting Jaebum can't see him. Jaebum seems to know anyway. "Listen to me. I'm okay. It was just a dream."

 

Youngjae brings his knees to his chest and he feels lighter.

 

"I'm here. I'm okay, baby. Don't worry. I'm okay."

  
Youngjae smiles, phone still to his ear. Jaebum is okay. He's _here_ even if he's not. Jaebum appears to be whispering something but Youngjae feels sleep overtake him once again.

 

"You'll still be here when I wake up, right?"

 

"Yes. I will." Youngjae feels his eyes growing heavy but Jaebum's voice still carries out. "I love you."


End file.
